The Nonsense Invitational
1M · 10K · Double · Open
July 5th, 2020
The No Name Running Club presents the Nonsense Invitational, a virtual “race”. Participants must complete their chosen distance and submit evidence on this site between 4am and 4pm EST on July 5th.
Results and awards will be presented on a live-stream at 4pm on July 5th. A link for the live-stream will be posted here.
Start List
See FAQ for details
Tucker Margulies
Bill Bernitsky
Kendra
Keith Delaney
Simon Salgado
Alexander Egan
Andrew Freeman
Simon Salgado
Adam Rago
Jeff Margulies
Emily Hurley
Carli Margulies
Katie Kraus
Dan Futrell
Daniel “The Hammer” Green
Jason Febo
Tommy Hermes
Double racers +
Han-Hui
Chano
Naomi Piercey
Payman Kassaie
Gus
Jamie Woolfe
Anne Margulies
Isaac Stoner
Pat Hurley
Stephen Thomas Peter Hurley
Cheri Hurley
Melissa Goldenheim
Carrie Gunther
Todd Gunther
Molly Gunther
Jeff Gunther
Greg Gunther
Marc Margulies
Sue Crane
Torrey Kraus
Giselle Futrell
Chartlotte Margulies
Gillian Hermes
Julie Hardy
Double racers +
Marci Klimek
Leo Spaceman
Anonymous
Greg Pearson
Michael Pearson
Samuel Leroy-Melamed
Allison Galway
The Open division has accepted the following categories:
5K
Jenny Margulies
Marc Margulies
John Hardy
1M Swim - Indoor Short Pool
Matt McCue
16 Meter IM - outdoor Pool
Lindsey Fair
1M Paddle Board
Austin Laverty
23 Yard Dash
Tate and Wes Margulies
Volleyball ACL Explosion (division closed)
Ted Brown
1 Set - Hard Court High Heat Tennis Match
Buz + Kasia Piercey
2 Person Relay Wine SUP (See comments for details)
Colleen and Seb Hardy
Tour de Beir (Min 2 Bier)
Robin Shook
10m dash on quad skates (French 75 in-hand)
Danielle
2 oval laps on Honda Metropolitan (unmeasured distance - Delta Airlines bloody mary in-hand)
Staton
Max races in 1hr via Mario Kart on Nintendo Switch
Jordan
Adult male playing 6 hours of online video games (for the first and last time)
Scott
FAQs
How does the “double” work?
Entrants in the double are also individually entered in the 1M and 10K races. They must complete both events separately (you can not submit a mile from the 10K in the 1M race). The winner of the double is the racer who has the lowest combined overall places in the two events. Overall places include all racers not just those also in the double.
What if there is a tie?
If there is a tie in any division the tie must be settled by a 16oz liquid chug race. The liquid may be water or beer.
Are there awards?
Yes, awards have been made for the top finishers in each division. Also everyone will be getting something….
Was child labor used in making the awards?
Yes, the awards were made primarily with child labor. My kids did most of the painting and they were not compensated.
I want to do something else. I want to run a 5K. I am going to do that.
Not a question but fine by me. You can be in the open division. You can submit any event for the open division. If there are enough participants in an Open event it will get its own award.
What is the Award Award? How is it decided?
The Award Award is the most coveted award given at the Nonsense. It is awarded to the racer who most embodies the spirit of the Nonsense.
Can I just run down a big hill? Will I be disqualified?
I don’t know.
What do you mean you don’t know? What are the rules?
That’s a great question. I am not sure.
Why are you doing this? Why don’t you just make rules like a normal race and tell everyone. This is infuriating.
It’s wacky right? You might say it’s nonsense.
I hate you.
I know.
How long are you going to argue with yourself in your own FAQ?
About this long.